Rook Island Madness
by K-Tokarski
Summary: What happens when an old friend of Vaas returns to the island after years gone? And what if he doesn't know that he was still alive? ( Contain OC, and a lot of bad words) Mostly humor.
1. Chapter 1

**This is an idea that have been nagging my brain lately, so I thought: "What if I just fucki** wrote this alreay?" So here we go! :D**

**I don't own anything besides OC and plot. :(**

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_What happens when an old friend of Vaas returns to the island after years gone? And what if he doesn't know that he was still alive?_

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According to some, he is able to fly. One guy said that he saw he jump off a cliff with nothing. No glider, no parachute. Just jumping and flying. He also said there was no excitation in his movements. Like a fucking bird. Vaas almost shot the guy's foot, but decided against it when he saw that he was telling him what he believed was true. There were also a lot of sightings of this fellow near a little island that had a temple on it. One day a pirate spotted a lot of smoke coming from this little island, the whole thing was in flames as Vaas ordered it to be burnt.

The thing is, the mysterious guy wasn't on it that day, and a few hours after the fire incident at his home, he got so mad that he slaughtered a whole camp that was nearby. The crazy motherfucker even wrote in the camp walls with blood saying "Fuck You". That finally got Vaas attention. Or was it a potential ally, or a crazy person wanting to mess with his business. Either way Vaas himself started hunting this fellow.

It didn't took too long for him to realise that his subordinates were too weak on this mission. Most of them died terrible deaths. And one of a sexual disease. But he doesn't count.

The arrival of the rich little pretty playboys didn't helped him to focus on the hunt either. Sure he had his share of fun killing Jason's brother that day, but he got away, and that made Vaas upset. When he is upset, things just die. Like that little plant that you always forget to water. Rest in peace, Bushy XIV.

Anyway. When Jason got away and was saved by Dennis, the mysterious guy was there, watching like a creepy stalker from Bushy's XIV relatives. And another crazy idea came to him. He was going to help Jason on his revenge. Because it was for the greater good, it was for- Ok this is bullshit, he just wanted to piss Vaas off a bit.

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Their first real encounter was when Jason was climbing his first radio tower. He may have almost died from heart attack when he saw our little fellow here hanging upside down and looking down at him with his almost golden eyes. His scream made him fall. But one herbal injection later he was fine. High, but fine. And Jason was gagging like a pussy.

"Who the fuck are you?" Was his first words for the guy in black. That, for some reason got him a bitch-slap. Bet's on because he almost died from the fall.

"Look how ya talk to a lady. No wonder ya look like a fucking virgin. And the fall ya caused me? Well, I would appreciate at least an apology." Jason's reaction was first of shock. Then he seemed confused and a bit doubtful. "You? A woman?"

"Yeah. Ya deaf or something? Look." Then a hood was put down. As was her skull mask that had a drawing of Nyan Cat on its other side. Jason's eyes expanded a little. She was a very white girl with a scar cutting from her forehead to her cheek. Her hair was black as the feathers of that fucking psycho big bird he saw in his trip. Damn the nightmares that bird gave him after the way that shit chased him. Anyway... She was pretty. Probably had a slender body under all that suit and if you took her weapons from her and her knife away, she would look rather cute in a... Cute dress, he guessed.

"What's your name? What do you want from me?" She was ignoring him now. Looking at the sky like he wasn't even there. "No talking until ya apologise~" Now she was fully ignoring him while cleaning her nails. "Wha- Fine! I'm sorry. Can we talk like adults now?" "Nah... What is the fun of doing that?" By her smirk Jason could already tell that she wasn't too different from Vaas. Of course, this one had boobs and a uterus. Jason facepalmed.

"Okay okay... Spoil sport." She rolled her eyes. "My name is a secret for now. What's your name? Gary?" Now she looked deadly serious. Especially when she said Gary.

"Wha- My name is Jason! Jason Brody." "Your face just screams Gary to me. Not my fault. But anyway, what are ya doing up here?" She was looking at him intensely. It made him nervous. Mostly because of her golden eyes.

"I was climbing a tower to be able to see more. Until a crazy person came into view and I almost died from the fall." Heads up people! Jason folded his arms, he's pissed, watch out!

"Wow that sounds tragic. I hope ya are okay Gary. And look at the bright side, ya didn't fall into my knife 36 times. That would have been messy." She even took her knife from the holster to make a little demonstration in the air. See how she is worried with Gary's health?

"Funny as fuck." His eye twitched a little. She was going to give him the finger, but her phone vibrated with a new message. She picked it up from her pocket and after a few moments reading the message chuckled to herself, guarding it. The whole time Jason just stood there like an idiot. "Business, business, business... All the fucking time." Her voice lost all humor.

"I guess I'll see ya around then Gary. Bye-bye~" A little wave and she just walked away. He was still standing there like an idiot, asking himself 'What the fuck just happened?'.

I would be too... What about you?

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**This excuse of a chapter was short, I know. I promise it to be longer in the future.**

**Leave a Review and tell me what you think of this little fic~**

**I also promise more Vaas on the next one! o/**


	2. Chapter 2

**Another chapter! :D**

**I want to thank AcidRain234 and Zoeythara for the reviews, and the people who is following and favorited this as well. You guys rock! o/**

******I don't own anything besides OC and plot, sadly. :/**

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_What happens when an old friend of Vaas returns to the island after years gone? And what if he doesn't know that he was still alive?_

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Vaas was pissed. Jason was being helped by the mysterious guy he couldn't find and was unlocking the towers he controlled. Now not only the piece of shit towns were able to gather resources but he wasn't able to control his men right in some parts of the island. So he shot a monkey. You know, to blow off some steam. He laughed, but the monkey didn't like it. Anyway.

Right now Vaas was sitting in a chair, playing with his knife in one hand while holding a banana in his other. With his feet on top of a table, because he is just that awesome. And the low noise that was playing in the background was actually dubstep. Who knew...

So, he was just chilling when a little squad of his men appeared. They were supposed to find and bring Jason... But by their very nervous looks, I'm guessing that they didn't find him. Just guessing.

"How's the search for Jason?" Vaas asked Carlos, one of his most trusted man. Not that he really trusted any of these mofos, but Carlos was always near him to do the stuff that he asked. He gulped along his comrades when Vaas asked. Shit seems to be tough.

"Nothing yet boss bu-" A table was suddenly flipped, a banana was now on the floor and Vaas had a very tight grip on his subordinate's collar. "IT'S BEEN ALREADY THREE" He sighed heavily, trying to calm his tits. "It's been already three fucking days. How the fuck you didn't find him yet? Hm? Is he fucking invisible now? Is he? Hm?" Holy shit he was pissed. But let go of the man's collar. Playing with his knife instead. Carlos sighed in relief. Not loudly of course.

"We couldn't find him, but we found the other guy's possible habitation." He said slowly. That got a big smirk from Vaas. A maniacal evil, kinda hot smirk. "I see..." He made a thinking position then, hand under his chin with his other arm folded. Looking away into the dark night. Then he chuckled, turning to his men once again. "Get more men. We are investigating that shit right now."

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And so they did. The area was located by a very high cliff. Giving the guy advantage.

Vaas and ten men were exploring the supposed area where the mysterious guy was living now. They did found a secret little camp, with a fire that just got put down. The guy was close. Everyone got tensed up. "Divide up in doubles and search nearby for the fucker. I'll be by his tent. GO!" Of course the order came from Vaas. And they did as told. Vaas opened the tent to investigate its contents and found nothing but a letter. A very long letter.

While he searched his pockets for a lighter, he was unaware of what was happening around him.

Hunting this guy in darkness wasn't a good idea. He was slaughtering his men one by one. Be it a knife to the throat, an arrow to the knee or just a very brutal twist of neck. He could see everything in the dark, somehow.

The letter Vaas found read:

_Dear Vaas._

_By the time you have reached this letter you probably already found this little camp I built. But the thing you didn't notice yet (probably), is that I never really lived here. Do you like my little trap? All the men you brought here is either dead or dying. I would never kill you from behind, don't worry. I didn't forget the way of the warrior. I guess this is it then. Writing really tires..._

_With love,_  
_Wolf._

_PS: I hate your sister._

"Wolf hm..." He looked outside. No movements, not even a sound. No walking sounds from his men. "Shit." He muttered to himself. Trying to focus hard on the darkness around him. Not really seeing a thing. Until he saw a little movement in the cliff's edge. He focused a little more and soon could see someone stabbing another person in the throat. Dropping the lifeless body in the floor coldly. The person then looked at Vaas direction. Looking at him intensely. Vaas kept staring.

As the person turned around in the direction of the cliff, Vaas ran in his direction as fast as he could, with his gun ready. "WOLF!" Wolf was about to jump from the cliff, when a shot was heard. And it went right through his left leg. But he jumped anyway. Even if he cried in pain a little. Just a little. And it wasn't a loud cry.

By the time Wolf was on the air, Vaas was by the cliff's edge. Now he saw how Wolf fled. He used a hidden wingsuit. Smart. Wait, was he pointing him the middle finger? "Bastard." Vaas laughed.

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**I know its short, I just didn't want this fic to take too long between updates. I hope you understand. (:**

**See you in the next chapter. _~Brofist~_**


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